Helping him dress better: a guide for her

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably noticed something he hasn’t: the sleeves that swallow his hands, the trousers that pool on his shoes, the one jacket he wears to everything. He probably knows, too, somewhere, and has decided it isn’t worth the bother. The good news is that the fix is smaller than it looks, and almost none of it is about taste.

This guide is the short version. Three more go into the parts that take tact: how to talk to him about it, getting him to a tailor, and surprising him with a suit.

Start with the fit, not the clothes

Most men who say they can’t wear a suit have only ever worn ones that don’t fit. A new colour won’t fix that; the fit will. Five checks, in the mirror, and you’ll see which one is the problem:

1. The sleeve. A little shirt cuff, a finger’s width or less, should show below the jacket sleeve. If his hands disappear, the sleeves are too long.
2. The shoulders. The jacket’s shoulder should end where his does. If it overhangs, or pulls in a dent below the seam, it’s the wrong jacket.
3. The length. The jacket should cover his seat. Much shorter reads like a borrowed jacket; much longer reads like a coat.
4. The trousers. They should just touch the shoe, with a slight break or none. Fabric pooled above the shoe makes any suit look cheap.
5. The collar. His shirt collar should close without pinching, with room for a finger. A collar he can’t button is why the tie is always loose.

Sleeves and trouser length are a quick alteration on the suit he already owns; Sam does alterations on suits, jackets and trousers, whether he made them or not. Shoulders and jacket length can’t really be fixed, and that’s when a suit made to his measurements earns its keep. How a suit should fit goes into each check.

Then the edges: shirt, shoes and belt

A man in one good suit usually lets it down at the edges, and the edges are the easiest part to put right:

• A shirt that fits his neck. White or pale blue first; they go with everything. How a dress shirt should fit.
• Dark shoes, polished. Black or dark brown leather, kept clean. Black shoes or brown settles which.
• A belt that matches the shoes. Same colour, same finish. The belt and the shoes.

One good suit before five cheap ones

If he owns one suit, make it navy or charcoal in a plain cloth, cut to fit him. It goes to the wedding, the interview, the dinner and the funeral, and with a different shirt and tie it looks like a different suit each time. The jacket on its own goes with chinos. Shirts and ties for a navy suit shows how far one suit goes.

What not to do

• Don’t buy it for him at the mall. A suit bought without him is bought in the wrong size, and a suit he didn’t choose is a suit he won’t wear.
• Don’t buy a size up to be safe. Too big looks worse than slightly snug, and it can rarely be taken in far enough.
• Don’t make it a makeover. One change he’s pleased with does more than five he puts up with.

The three conversations

• How to talk to him about his clothes: start from the occasion, praise what works, talk about fit rather than taste, and let someone else be the expert.
• Getting him to a tailor: the first appointment, together; what happens, what to bring, and your part in the room.
• Surprise him with a suit: a gift certificate, a drawing in the card, or Sam turning up at his office for the first appointment.

If there’s a wedding coming, the Gown Match draws his suit beside your gown, and lets you send him his suit without showing him the dress.