Dress the dads without the family drama
Updated July 2026 · by Sam Talkar
Coordinating the dads with the wedding party is simple once you name one rule: they complement the groomsmen, they don’t match them. Put both fathers in the same colour family as the party but give each his own subtle difference — a vest, a different tie, a slightly different shade. Nobody upstages anybody, both families read as one, and no one feels like a groomsman who forgot he’s 60.
Should the fathers match the groomsmen?
No. They should coordinate, not match. The wedding party is the wedding party; the fathers are the fathers. Dressing Dad in the identical suit-tie-pocket-square as a 24-year-old groomsman looks like a costume error, not a plan.
The move is same colour family, own details. If the groomsmen are in navy, put the dads in navy too — but give them a different tie, maybe a vest the guys don’t have, or a subtly different cloth. Close enough to belong in the photos, distinct enough to read as the father, not the fourth usher.
What colour should the father of the bride and groom wear?
Navy, charcoal, or medium grey — those are the safe, sharp choices that photograph well and coordinate with almost any party. Black works for black-tie or evening. Save tan and light grey for a summer or daytime wedding.
Quick rule of thumb:
- Groomsmen in navy → dads in a slightly different navy (darker, or a subtle herringbone/birdseye texture), or step to charcoal.
- Groomsmen in charcoal or grey → dads in navy or a deeper grey.
- Black-tie → both dads in a proper tux, coordinated with the groom.
The texture trick is my favourite for the dads. Same colour as the party from across the room, but up close there’s a quiet weave that says this suit was chosen for him. That’s the difference good cloth makes.
How do the two fathers coordinate without matching each other?
Same lane, different car. The father of the bride and father of the groom don’t need to be identical — they need to look like they agreed on a plan. Same formality, same rough colour family, then let ties and small details separate them.
The easiest peace treaty: get both dads on a short call or text thread early. Agree on “navy suits, everyone picks his own tie.” Done. Now neither shows up in a tan sportcoat while the other’s in a tux, and neither feels bossed around. If one father wants to tie into his wife’s dress colour with his tie, even better — that’s a lovely touch and it naturally sets him apart from the other dad.
How do you give each dad his own detail?
Distinguish every father from the party with one small, deliberate thing. You don’t need three. One is enough:
- A vest the groomsmen aren’t wearing — instantly reads as “senior member of the family.”
- A different tie — different colour, or a grown-up texture like a grenadine or knit while the guys are in satin.
- A different boutonniere — the couple’s florist usually handles this; just ask.
- A pocket square in a tone that nods to the party without copying it.
Pick the detail for each dad, not against the party. The goal is “clearly the father,” never “look at me.”
What about the dad who hates fuss, or is hard to fit?
Meet him where he is — a father who’s comfortable stands taller in every photo. The dad who “doesn’t do suits” doesn’t need a lecture; he needs one suit that fits so well he forgets he’s wearing it. That’s the whole job of the bench.
Fit is where most rented father-of suits fall down. Older gentlemen, broader builds, a bit more through the middle, one shoulder lower than the other after decades of real life — off-the-rack fights all of that. Made-to-measure works with the body he has, so he’s not tugging at a jacket all night. If that’s your dad, this is worth reading: suits for hard-to-fit bodies.
How far ahead should the dads get measured?
Start six to eight weeks out, minimum. Wedding season stacks up fast, and a father’s suit that fits right needs a fitting, a make, and a final adjustment — not a rushed pickup the day before.
Earlier is calmer. Bring both dads in together if they’ll come; half the coordination happens naturally when they’re standing in the same room looking at the same cloth. And a suit made properly isn’t a one-day rental — it’s the jacket he’ll reach for at the next wedding, the anniversary dinner, the next simcha. That’s the quiet value of going custom over renting.
The short version
- Fathers complement the party, never match it.
- Same colour family, own detail — a vest, a tie, a texture.
- The two dads coordinate with each other; a quick early chat prevents all the drama.
- Fit beats everything, especially for a dad who dreads dressing up.
- Book six to eight weeks out and, ideally, bring both fathers in together.
If you want the whole party — groom, groomsmen, and both dads — pulled into one calm, coordinated look, that’s exactly what we do here. See how it all fits together on the wedding page, or come in for a free first fitting and we’ll sort the dads out with zero family drama. No pressure, no hard sell — just honest advice and a great-fitting suit.